The Premier Inn Beauty

Once upon a time lived a king and queen who ruled over the heavenly lands of... Trowbridge, they had been trying for years and years to have a daughter but some how it never worked, until one day the queen was in a alley where she was confronted by a homeless man who said to her your wish shall be fulfilled, so the homeless man said take these pills and it shall be true, in 5 seconds the queen blacked out until she woke up in a bus shelter.

The homeless people of Trowbridge are seen as magical creatures and a year had passed and the queens dream had come true, a young baby girl has been born, this child was so beautiful the king couldn’t help but to laugh at her. He ordered a huge dominoes pizza order for all his friends and family and neighbours, he even invited the local village idiot who thought he was a fairy hoping that he will care and be kind to his darling daughter. The amazing takeaway feast came to an end, and each of the village idiots presented the child with a poundland gift. One village idiot gave her virtual tennis for Xbox, another gave her lacoste pink, and a third gave her a 5 pound notes and so on literally everything a princess could need.

After the eleven fairies had given her there gifts. A thirteenth village idiot appeared, and she was angry and wanted to show her spite for not have been invited for pizza, without hesitation she called out in a loud voice, “ when she turns fifteen years old, the princess shall put a fork in the socket and fall down dead”. The fairies all turned to each other and they all said “nahhh don’t worry blood your lil princess will not die yet fall asleep for one hundred years “. Yet just to be extra sure the king talked to Gordon Brown and he ordered that every fork and plug socket shall be destroyed so this curse cannot go ahead.

Yet one day the princess was her local premier inn and a few drinks had drunk and she was very drunk and a fork and a plug socket she just couldn’t resist so she dropped into the bed and fell into a deep sleep. Word got out of this sleeping beauty and princes travelled all over the world to look for her in all the B&B’s and premier inn’s but just really couldn’t be bothered to check every room because they’d be there all day. Until one prince found her room upon entry he was shocked, to look upon such a UGLY FACE it was plastered in acne and she had really bad breathe and snored, so he looked around and thought screw that he robbed her wallet and keys her alcohol and left the room.

So in reverse the prince lived happily ever after in his new Peugeot 206 neon pink of Corse, every master card and a load of cash, oh and don’t forget a 1 pound book token and some poundland coupons whilst the princess was left asleep and left with a huge bill of rent at 17,345 pounds for a year and she gradually died. What a shame.